Istanbul, Turkey

We had to bust out of Alex from the impeding EID holiday...we saw all the animals shuffled into makeshift pens on the streets surrounding our school. The future looked bleak for sheep, cows, goats and camels. Istanbul was our short escape route to where we wouldn't get caught in rivers of blood. We piled into the plane and off we went...the 5 of us.

Instead of staying in Sultanahmet, we ventured over to the antique district below Taksim. While the vibe was slightly more local, it reeked of trendiness. It will be a matter of a short few years before the area totally flips. Tourists have overrun Istanbul, it might be one of last times going there.

X getting ready.  

Ana's parents first trip out of Alex.

We played the casual tourist this round by not snapping many photos. The Blue Mosque

Outside the Aya Sophia.

Inside the Aya Sophia.

Upstairs in the Aya Sophia.

Guess where this is?

From a window inside of the  A _ _    S_ p_ _a.

Instead of riding a boat up the Bosphorus, we decided on one of the Prince Islands, Heybeloada to be exact.

Demonstrating Heybeliada's past and present architecture. The Prince Islands have a history of being a homeland for exiled royalty. An added bonus is the no private motorcars allowed on the islands rule. Bring or rent a bike. 

Need to experience Turkey's greatest hits on a small scale in about an hour with the bonus of saving weeks of travel time and thousands of dollars? Don't fret. Minaturk to the rescue.  

Minaturk verges on cheesy complete with tacky tourists who roam over obvious fences meant to keep people out. leave your manners at home and don't forget a selfie stick.   

It's all about the selfie. 

Need a backyard idea for the kids? 

The mini airport was one of the best attractions.  

Insert a Turkish lira, a push a button, and hear the fan of a football match. 

Meow. Even the kittens interacted with attractions.

Three wives, three camera phones, one husband next to an attraction. 

In all seriousness, if you've never given up building models or train sets, Minaturk is a must see.

Istanbul Museum of Modern Art was participating in the 14th Istanbul Biennial. 

Ana and had a tough time deciding if this would better in the bedroom or dining room.

Bullet holes through glass makes-another great decorating idea. 

A police brutality scene over the love seat really ties the room together.

If you've ever visited the Middle East or even a developing country you might just know how prominent this image is. 

All that clothes you donated to Goodwill...

Living below the earth's surface kept alive by hydroponic lights while deer, tires, and bullet riddled walls clutter the surface. Modern art. Dig it. 

Perhaps a better use for self-help books. 

Near our apartment and according to Facebook, the world famous "Objects of Desire" exhibit. This might not be suitable viewing for people suffering with a need to desire objects disorder.  

The object are separated in themes categories. 

Someone was ready to go home. 

Various strolls around Alex

Good times start now...

Eid al-Adha aka The big Eid aka slaughter fest 2010 is fast approaching. Waves of immigrant sheep and makeshift pens are popping up all over the hood. In less than a week the streets will be covered in blood, a river of blood, a vampire’s wet dream. Sadly we will miss this event as we're headed back to Lebanon with our friends Sonny and Christine in tow for a little relief.

Cooling off the aish (bread). Did you know that after buying bread a typical practice is to throw it on the sidewalk? I heard the reason is to cool it off. It is rather strange because you don't want to put anything in your mouth that has been on the streets of Alex especially after Eid unless you want a blood sandwich.



There is what is left of a Monte Carlo a few blocks from the school.

When you gotta look good, you gotta look good. 

Hitting students BAD, Shooting them with paintball gun GOOD. Teachers vs student and parent, what a blast!

There is bowling in Alex. Pickell and I bowled a game. The balls had chunks missing so the trick was to avoid cutting your fingers. The 12 year old kid next to us was wearing a shirt that had "FCK" in large print with the caption "the only thing missing is YOU" 
  

So when Pickell and I were out one evening exploring Miami (a neighborhood) we found a little special place. Belly dancing. We were the only two people in the joint with about 10 workers hovering over us. The show went on at 930 and we stayed long enough for an incriminating photo op. The sparkly matching dolphin top and skirt really sets the mood.

The owner said that the dancing ends around 530 am. The best part of the evening was the air freshener fumigator guy that pumped out a Glade knockoff and made us gag. The concept is similar to fumigating a house for fleas except you leave the can and vacate the house. Runner up was the DJ with his Mr. Microphone muttering nonsense over the music on blown out speakers with occasional feedback. And yes, the dancer is sporting a fake tattoo. Classy.

Not only does Miami have belly dancing but the area is best known for clothing shops. If I'm ever feeling blue, a trip to glance at some of the apparel will turn that frown upside down. 

"I Heta Monday's too"

Need liquor? No problem, Miami has it. It wasn’t the booze that drew us into this establishment, but more the experimental taxidermy and the stuffed animal combo that made this a happening place. These kinds of discoveries make expat life special. I’m sure this would violate some law back in the states or at the very last have the folks from PETA on your case.  

Broken critter? Try packaging tape. What's up with the riding monkey?

I'm going to assume that before Egyptian booze makes you go blind, it makes you crazy.

Rover munching on chicken feet.

North Coast, Noise, and F-Bird's Birthday

The Grim Reaper has been hanging out in our neighborhood a lot lately, at least two times a week. The funerals here are something else, I had mentioned them in an earlier post but they deserve another plug. I was re-reading the Sonic Youth chapter in Michael Azerrad's Our Band Can Be Your Life and the funeral outside our window couldn't have been a more perfect soundtrack. It's 930ish at night and try to imagine a PA system like the one you might find in a rock club cranked to 10 with reverb while someone at the mic that more resembles a megaphone belting out verses from the Koran. This intense sound bounces off neighboring buildings and carries on for about 20 minutes and when you think the assault is over (by a five minute interlude of false silence), the next cadaver gets his 20 as well as the third one after that. This is in addition to the month of Ramadan which not only gets you the five standard calls to prayer but an hour plus long sermon each evening. This had been life in Alex since we've been back. Ramadan just ended a couple of days ago and everyone is starting to get back into their normal routines...alhamdulillah

At the end of Ramadan is the 3-day Muslim holiday Eid al-Fitr which meant no students and no school. Ana and I wanted to rent a villa on the North Coast (the stretch along the Mediterranean coast west of Alexandria to the seaport of Mersa Matrouh). Our friend Ji had mentioned that some of the teachers from the British School would be going to Etap (a very affordable resort 212 km from Alex) so we put the word out and what started as a trip for 5 people turned out to be 18 when all was said and done.

The View from our villa.

Jill-Milk, Baby El, Sandy Pants, and Huck Finn waiting for the Indian family down the street to get their Cricket match going.

The price of our villa included an unlimited supply of ants (note the trail of ants crawling across the living room wall). The ants loved everything we brought from food to plastic bags to humans. The flies were an added bonus. Egyptian brand of flies are slightly aggressive and like to explore your openings: ears, nose, and mouth.

Horseshoes were played...

...as well as "who can stand on the horseshoe stake the longest...

...or the Karate Kid version.

The door for the flies.

Etap has public art...

The area next to the resort.

Make no mistake about it; the water was clear, warm, and beautiful.

The rusted umbrella poles have seen better days...though not quite the caliber of art compared to Seal With Ball.

Another boring ocean shot.

Sunsets were amazing; the light changed the color of the sea and landscape.

Mommy and Baby El.
Jose was happy with his Red Bull.

Etap's famous Beer Tree

Not your ordinary leaf blower. When you heard the sound from up the street you ran to shut all your doors and windows ASAP! Fear the wrath of the Fumigator.

I woke up early and went on a walk and encountered a couple of Bedouins. A couple had guns so I didn't stop to chat. There were plenty of shotgun shells on the desert floor. This shelter was next to the sea, there wasn't much in it.

No waves!

Ana and the sea.

Jose and Pickell's step pyramid built on Scary Carrie.

9 of 18

Last year during the Eid at the Red Sea F-Bird was born. Darth Seth and Kupcake Kristal had bought everyone ice cream and from a drumstick wrapper F-Bird was born. We sat and discussed F-Bird for nearly 2 hours (sober!) and thus his persona was born. F-Bird doesn't put up with BS; he will throw you down and painfully pick at your eyes until they bleed if you cross him in a bad way. In short he's problem solver. Scary Carrie crossed F-Bird...

...as did Jessie James...

...Huck Finn received a stern warning...

...Jose and F-Bird are tight...

...We call Benny Boy "Popeye" these days...

...as well as poor Jackie O...

...it might have been Peso's birthday, but F-Bird was about to send her to the party with the gift of a bloody eye.

Everyone needs a 220 volt outlet in the shower. Taking orders now.