Playing hooky with friends.

A couple of weeks ago our friends Sonny and his mom Christine made it across the pond and then some for a taste of Middle East living. The two week itinerary included: Alexandria, Cairo, and Lebanon. I will be documenting our misadventures in the next five postings.

One of the teachers at school was nice enough to cover my afternoon class so I could go play hooky around Alex and here is the story... 

The produce man down the street from our school. He had been asking for a copy of this photo the day after it was taken. The questioning has reached the point where he has enlisted the broken English baker across the street from his stall to stalk us for the picture. Ana and I have been taking alternative routes to avoid the eager vendors. We are now happy to report that a copy has been made and delivered only to find out that he now wants a picture with me.

Then again it may not. I'm not quite sure what qualifies as a Hero Camel, any insights from our Bedouin readers would be appreciated. An exclusive only available at Qaitbay Fort. 

Each square of this mosaic is the size of a dime. This photo represent maybe one-eighth of the overall composition.

I might have mentioned this in a previous post. The city is saturated with ads for the soda Orange Crush; you definitely see the logo painted on walls, bill boards, and there is even a facility with a fleet of trucks on the road to Cairo. Have I seen an actual bottle or can of the product? Hell no! It doesn't exist here. I have a feeling that 7 UP will fall into the same category.

I've arrived at the conclusion that more people need to pimp out their boats.

I'm going to take a wild guess that the salesman and designer are one in the same. If Chris Shary had an Egyptian counterpart this would be the one. Photo by Sonny.

Yes, the cabbage is larger than your head. Photo by Sonny.

Nothing says you love your friends like an outing to enjoy the sights and smell of Manshaya. Photo by Sonny.

Back in the day China Town San Francisco was tops for photo ops of unusual cuisine. Last time I was there signs were posted strictly prohibiting cameras in the shops. Sonny even mentioned that owners will beat your camera with a stick. No animal rights groups in Alex to keep heads from rolling. Photo by Sonny.

How does one decide a good head, do you feel it like a melon? Photo by Sonny

When in Alex an obligatory destination after putting a couple back at Cap D'or and the Spit Fire Bar is the top of the Cecil Hotel for an amazing view of the corniche, med, and city.

A new sort of ashtry outsiude the Sayed Darwish Opera House.

If it is old books you are looking for, the row of vendors right outside of The French Cultural Center is your best bet.

A last minute gift idea!

A punk rock Islam walk in Egypt

The usual Saturday morning walk has been done on more than one occasion hung over. I am pleased to report that it hasn’t been the case in quite awhile. We arrived back from Beirut yesterday afternoon and the trip up from Cairo was done in record time thanks to our frenetic driver.

Every Friday and/or Saturday morning I have a ritual that if I’m up by 8ish I hike down to the Corniche and walk along it for 30-45 minutes then find my way back home through the winding streets of Miami, Sidi Bishr, and Loran. In all, I walk for a good two hours reflecting on just about everything.

The trick is crossing the Corniche; sometimes this process can take up to a couple of minutes. Today I made it to the median without a sweat; from there I counted to one hundred and ten Mississippi before making it to the other side thanks to morning rush hour traffic.

Here are some thoughts I had:

Thought A:

While crossing the definite 4 and sometimes up to 6 or 7 makeshift lanes I remembered calling Mr. Kofta to get his insight on how Egyptians can turn a couple of lanes into many. This conversation originally stated when Sonny’s mom inquired as to how was it possible to make a two-lane road into a three and a half on our way down to Cairo last week. She was surprised that the chaos worked so well by the lack of accidents. We threw around some theories as to why this was and why drivers drive in the middle of the road never committing to a single lane. Were they being courteous to help accommodate other drivers? Thoughtfulness doesn’t quite fit the profile of the typical Egyptian driver. We were stumped. I got Mr. Kofta on the horn and asked about the driving, he simply stated, “Egyptian drivers simply don’t give a fuck.” Glad that’s settled.

Thought B:

On the path back home a covered girl (hijab wearing) maybe 4 or 5 years old stared me down and I thought about the time I went with Ana to National City back in San Diego to get her eyebrows done. There was a little African-American girl (3-5 years old) getting her nails done and her teenage mother kept telling her how sexy she looked. I’m guessing that the mother of the Muslim girl I saw this morning doesn’t call her daughter sexy very often and most likely not at all nor never will. One similarity I foresee is that the covered girl might also become a teenage mom but in her case she’ll be a married fulfilling her obligation to her man and Allah.  

example of hijab girl-not the one I saw today.

Thought C:

Some of the songs that came up on shuffle:

Husker Du-If I told you 

Sham 69-Angels with dirty faces

Skrewdriver-Anti social

Sin 34-Who needs them

PIL-Religion 1

Descendents- Hey hey

DRI-God is broke

Cock Sparrer-Teenage heart

100 Flowers-Dyslexia

Mission of Burma-When I reach for my revolver

Mega City Four-Scared of cats
Randy Newman-I love L.A.

Thought D:

Must go to supermarket!

Thought E:
Lebanon postings, send pix on camera to computer.  

Thought F:
Ana's uncle just passed away. I feel like we are missing a lot back home. We can renew or go back or go somewhere else. No job for Ana back home, will have to buy furniture, cell phones, gas, food, car, and the USA seems violent to me, lots of ignorance and hate towards Mexicans and Muslims. We have friends here, easy lifestyle, students like us and we like them, big raise for 3rd year, travel without hurting bank account. On the downside: no night life we really like, no live music, no punk shows, no taco stands, and no family. Looking at schools in Asia...they pay more, maybe not as friendly, starting over, students who want to learn, more international setting, larger schools, new chapter in life...leaping into the void. We often think about the people we miss and it is hard not being able to spend time with them, but life goes on as no one cannot predict how long we'll be on this earth.

Thought G:
Must stop thinking. Turn volume up!  

Festivals

This is it folks, our last post before we run away to Lebanon for the week. The "Big Eid" is almost here, the streets are packed with sheep while pedestrians lick their chops (no pun intended, but it makes for a great visual). We've had International Night, Halloween, Fall Festival, and Senior Dance (Superman and The Bearded Lady took care of that one for the team) all within a two week period. We're done, cooked, put a fork in it. Next week we'll be in a religious hodgepodge of sorts hoping Occupied Palestine won't drop any dirty bombs our way. 

The pie in the face portrait is a perfect addition to my CV.

Revenge is sweet in the most literal sense. Drama star Ms. Tonya Dee letting Mr. Bob know how she really feels about her last quarter's grade via bananas and cream.

My Grade 8 advisory class commanded two booths; Sponge in the Face and Eating Contest. Mezen was our big money maker, he even had teachers lining up to throw a soaked sponge at him. Thanks for taking one for the team!

Nathaniel likes birds and robotic dancing, one of the more popular attractions in Alex.

Sarah's usual school uniform.

Our pie eating contest booth wasn't so popular. Heba and Chantal making a mess.

Grade 11 Advisory did the game where a student stands on an inner tube with a plank and the objective is to throw a ball to knock the student off. In the US we call the game "lawsuit" 

Watch out Alex, Madam Lady Kat is on the loose

Reality Check Tip: Jose is really not who we thought he was.

In Egyptian Supermarkets there is a brand of cheese (gibna) called Panda. The commercials are outrageous. Check them out: Never say no to Panda! 

You'd smile too if you just got laid.

Joe said he bought those pants over 30 years ago and yes he brought them to Egypt for his wild nights out on the town. The local taxi drives call him "Mister Crazy Pants"

Scary Carrie and Jessie James. No, not Scary's real skin color but close and yes, Jessie's real hair.

Adam wanted to be a 70's Fred Flinstone.

Darth Maul  or  Little Lucifer or Hot Tamale Guy?

Vampirita

When Ana asked who he was he replied "Princess Persia" what he really meant to say was "Prince of Persia" but with hair like his I can see how one might get mixed-up.

¡Ole!

World famous fashion designer Afifi in Paris for Fashion Week showing off her latest collection.

Various strolls around Alex

Good times start now...

Eid al-Adha aka The big Eid aka slaughter fest 2010 is fast approaching. Waves of immigrant sheep and makeshift pens are popping up all over the hood. In less than a week the streets will be covered in blood, a river of blood, a vampire’s wet dream. Sadly we will miss this event as we're headed back to Lebanon with our friends Sonny and Christine in tow for a little relief.

Cooling off the aish (bread). Did you know that after buying bread a typical practice is to throw it on the sidewalk? I heard the reason is to cool it off. It is rather strange because you don't want to put anything in your mouth that has been on the streets of Alex especially after Eid unless you want a blood sandwich.



There is what is left of a Monte Carlo a few blocks from the school.

When you gotta look good, you gotta look good. 

Hitting students BAD, Shooting them with paintball gun GOOD. Teachers vs student and parent, what a blast!

There is bowling in Alex. Pickell and I bowled a game. The balls had chunks missing so the trick was to avoid cutting your fingers. The 12 year old kid next to us was wearing a shirt that had "FCK" in large print with the caption "the only thing missing is YOU" 
  

So when Pickell and I were out one evening exploring Miami (a neighborhood) we found a little special place. Belly dancing. We were the only two people in the joint with about 10 workers hovering over us. The show went on at 930 and we stayed long enough for an incriminating photo op. The sparkly matching dolphin top and skirt really sets the mood.

The owner said that the dancing ends around 530 am. The best part of the evening was the air freshener fumigator guy that pumped out a Glade knockoff and made us gag. The concept is similar to fumigating a house for fleas except you leave the can and vacate the house. Runner up was the DJ with his Mr. Microphone muttering nonsense over the music on blown out speakers with occasional feedback. And yes, the dancer is sporting a fake tattoo. Classy.

Not only does Miami have belly dancing but the area is best known for clothing shops. If I'm ever feeling blue, a trip to glance at some of the apparel will turn that frown upside down. 

"I Heta Monday's too"

Need liquor? No problem, Miami has it. It wasn’t the booze that drew us into this establishment, but more the experimental taxidermy and the stuffed animal combo that made this a happening place. These kinds of discoveries make expat life special. I’m sure this would violate some law back in the states or at the very last have the folks from PETA on your case.  

Broken critter? Try packaging tape. What's up with the riding monkey?

I'm going to assume that before Egyptian booze makes you go blind, it makes you crazy.

Rover munching on chicken feet.

Ignore that dude!

Cultural Liasion Mr. Kofta teaches "nafadlk"

Coptic Monasteries

I've been suffering from a bit of writer's block so we'll keep it pictures and minimal text...sadly in addition to my head being slightly out of order so are the photos. I'll get my act together on the next post. Thanks to Kathryn's camera and Ana's phone some of the day was properly recorded.

Every year Nadia, one of the local teachers organizes a Coptic Christian related field trip. Last year it was Cairo and this time around we visited three Monasteries near the desert road between Alex and Cairo. If my attention had been with the program I might have learned a thing or two and you would be reading a more quality post. Here are a couple of main points I remember...The Romans were the bad guys and chased the Christians out to the desert and as a result built fortresses to preserve the faith. The Bedouins and Berbers also didn't care much for the Christians and raided often, really why work for something when you can just go and take from a neighbor. 

The first stop was at Abou Makar (Saint Macarius) and if you go to their website you'll learn more than what I could ever tell you...just be sure to click on the English translation or you'll be reading scribbles. Better yet go here to see pictures and learn about the Church of the Forty Nine Martyrs, etc. Rumor had it that they sold the best dates and olives around, but the store only had dates and I simply wasn't in the date mood. The land surrounding the Monastery is fertile and many crops are grown and sold thus providing the major source of income to keep it going. 

And now we are at Anba Bishoy (Saint Bishoy) the last stop of the day. Click here to learn more. It is said that Saint Bishoy (a hermit) was lead out to the desert by an angel to where the monastery was built. This was about the time I was feeling a little weird from the Foul (fool-fava bean dish) we had at Abou Makar.

The monk stated while showing us the wheat mill that it is now easier to drive down to the market and buy a 2 kilo bag of flour. After watching the effort put into working the mill I would have to agree with him.

Domes.

At each Monastery we were assigned to a friendly English speaking monk.  

Detail on the door. One thing we did learn is that it is against the law to preach Christianity outside the church in Egypt. It is punishable by prison and/or death; if you are foreigner you'll kindly get deported. 

Each tile is about the size of a finger nail.

Saint Bishoy carrying Jesus. The saint met Jesus on several occasions

Painting of Saint Bishoy washing the feet of Jesus.

Abou Makar was definitely the most green of the three, but the amount of cement canceled it out. 

Each monastery has several individual churches.

The sign says it all. The siege occurred in the 5th century and you can blame the raiding Bedouins and the last monk who forgot to see if the draw bridge was raised. Doh! 

Bell

The 4' door leads to a room about the size of a bathtub.

Our favorite of the three stops was Baramous. The scene outside the walls was desert and the green inside was a nice contrast. After being on sidewalks all afternoon, we welcomed the dirt paths.  

Inside one of the churches. There are books on the sides written in Coptic script with Arabic translations. The script/alphabet looks like a cross between Greek with a jigger of hieroglyphics.  

Coptic water tower

It just looks and feels clean.

Relics are covered up with written prayers folded and tucked under. It is believed that the objects are sacred and have power. Ana mentioned that the Catholics like to show off their stuff and the Copts cover it up. Raiding Bedouins and Berbers will condition you to feel that way.